I Hate Stupid People

This semester is seriously kicking my ass, and it's only the end of the first week. I have a bunch of hard classes with a LOT of work, plus I'm trying to be a first-semester RA and I'm in my Senior I internship. I dunno, ya'll. I'm trying to keep my head above water, but ... we'll see how it works out.

First, my classes. I'm taking ELEM 4525 (Classroom Management), EDUC 4400 (Educational Psychology), EXSS 1000 (Bowling), MATE 3060 (Math in the elementary schools, grades 3-5), READ 3205 and 3206 (the last classes required for my concentration / certificate in teaching Reading), COAD 2001 (the RA class), and my internship. My outlook calendar looks like a rainbow with all of the color-coded assignment due dates. ELEM 4525 and EDUC 4400, between the two of them, have about 40 projects. READ 3205 requires a lesson plan every week. Plus I have to make my unit for Senior II (science with a focus on language arts, bleh).

I also got my placement, FINALLY. I was stressing out about not having it and now I wish I still didn't have it. I got Greenville, which is good and bad - good because it saves me on gas and I don't have to get up at o-dark-thirty to make it there, but bad because they told me they don't hire RAs for only one semester so I likely won't be able to stay on campus over the summer and next fall (well, I could stay in the dorm and just pay for it, but I'd really prefer to do that only if they are paying ME to do it). There is the smallest of possibilities that I might be able to talk them into making an exception for me - we will see. But they won't let me be a summer RA unless I'm coming back in the fall, so if they don't let me come back in the fall, I have to find somewhere to live for the summer ANYWAY ... I have some options. I could go back to Charleston and live with my dad. I could go live with my mom in Wilmington. Niether of those options are particularly appealing to me for reasons I may discuss or may not. We'll see. I just have a lot of thinking to do.

Another thing about my placement - I spoke to the teacher today and he has the EC class - the exceptional children/inclusion class. This is going to be way harder than a regular class because I have to adapt my lessons to meet the needs of a variety of children with disabilities or exceptionalities - which I will have to do always, of course, but I was hoping for a little less stress during my internship. What was I thinking? Less stress? HAH. I am going to try to look at this as an honor - as them saying, "We know Jenny can handle this and excel." But there's a small part of me that is thinking, "Why can't just one thing this semester be easy?"

I guess I'm paying for how easy it's been up to this point. This semester is in no way easy and I am going to have to work for every A - which is exactly what I kept saying I wanted. Be careful what you wish for, kiddies. Sometimes you get it, all at once.

Let's see ... what else? I took some of my refund money and bought a professional wardrobe. I went to Catherine's, which specializes in my size clothing, and I got REALLY nice stuff that looks good, fits well, and makes me feel good. :) So I am, at least, going to look awesome while teaching. It was pricey, but it was all stuff I needed and will last, so I'm not going to fret over how much I spent. I mean, when each shirt costs between $45 and $55, you can't get a whole wardrobe without spending some money. The good news is that the stuff all fits so well and feels so comfortable that I am no longer opposed to dressing up, and since my clothes look so good and my hair looks so good I put on makeup every day and generally feel pretty good about myself physically. :)

As for the RA duties ... in the beginning I had a goal of getting into Hall of Fame this semester (which means that you do twice the required number of programs) but I have had to relax that a bit since seeing all of the work I have to do in my classes. I will not be disappointed if I don't make it. I'll be happy to do the required number of programs. :) I already have a few great ideas in the works - James and I are co-hosting a Texas Hold'em Tournament, and I'm doing a program called "Random Acts of Kindness" where people get a secret buddy for whom they do nice things throughout the semester. I'm also setting up a "How to Interview" seminar and a tour of the Rec center (with the 10th floor RA).

What else is going on ... I kind of made a resolution this year to stop focusing so much on how lonely I am and realize that I need to get out of college before I'm going to find a good relationship. That's somewhat easier said than done. I barely have time to think, much less focus on being lonely, but I still /feel/ it. I keep hoping that with as busy as I am it will stop being such a big deal. If anybody has any tips on how to stop wanting something, let me know. :)

And that's about it in my corner. I am going to try to blog more just as a way of working through some of my stress - I'm going to pat myself on the back for my accomplishments and try to understand my failures through the written word since I find that I don't have many people I can talk to about stuff like that around here. So hopefully you'll be hearing a lot more from me.

So, my mom is the coolest person ever. She's cooler than your mom. WAY cooler. Do you know why? :)

A few weeks ago I was at home visiting my newborn nephew, and mom was there. She went to stay with Sherri and Bryan so that she could help take care of the baby, and of course while she was there she cooked absolutely delicious food. I made an offhand comment that she ought to come cook for me at school ... and yesterday she did.

She got here at around noon, and we went to the store to get a few things. Then we headed over to my dorm where she proceeded to give me the cutest haircut ever and then cook pasta, caesar salad, and garlic bread for me and fifteen of my friends (mostly from Gamer's Guild, but also from around the dorm). She had also brought two cakes from Sam's, and three cases of sodas. People started showing up around 3-ish and we played games and ate and visited with my mom, who as I have said before and will say again is the coolest person ever. Everyone commented on how alike we are, and it made me so proud - I really hope that one day I am as awesome as she is. You always hear people joking (in a bad way) that they are turning into their mothers - I am the opposite. I pray I turn into my mother someday. She is such an incredible person. In fact, one of the guys from Gamer's Guild made her an honorary ninja because she's so cool *lol* He apparently has a thing about ninjas. So now my friends are all calling her Ninja Peaches.

I don't think there are words to describe the depth of love that I have for my mother. I am working day and night on a cross-stitch to give to her for Christmas and I really hope that I finish it in time. I have a bad track record for finishing these things but I want to show her in some tangible way how much she means to me, and making something this complex and time-consuming I think will deliver that message. It's a gorgeous native american pattern - she collects NA art - and I know it's the sort of thing that she would love. My only regret is that I will not have enough money to get it framed - I'll have to give it to her unframed and let her frame it. But I think it'll still be okay.

That's my mom in my icon, btw - with Annabelle and Megan when they were first born. She's an amazing lady. I wish you all could meet her :)

So, I have this horrible headache. Probably stress related, who knows. But I had to go downstairs anyway to return something to somebody. So I go downstairs and I'm sitting there waiting for them and Paul stops by. We talk a little bit and I told him about my headache and he said I should drink alcohol because it makes all the pain go away. I told him, "That way lies alcoholism." He laughed and said I reminded him of Yoda. I am kinda short and I was wearing a green hoodie and I was kinda hunched over because my head hurt so bad. Then he said he had to go take a test and I told him to do well on it, and he said, "I'll try."

So of course I said, "Do or do not. There is no try."

Sometimes college is really random.

I would like everyone to take a minute and read the article found here: Bush to Relax Protected Species Rules

This is disgusting. He's cut the scientists out of the question entirely, and left the decision on whether new projects will harm endangered species up to the PEOPLE WHO WANT THE PROJECTS DONE? The man is insane. And this is not the last we will see of our lame-duck president's horrible decisions - he's still got five months to ruin the country even more than he already has. I fear for our country.

Psychology of Childhood Exam

Lowest Grade - 39
Highest Grade - 103
Median Grade - 67

My grade? 103. HOT DAMN! Chancellor's List, I'll be seeing you again this semester. :)

It is not only possible, but likely, that I am the dumbest person on the planet. *sigh*

Well, on the whole, 2007 wasn't THAT bad of a year. My grandfather died, which was very sad, especially because he was doing SO much better health-wise. He got into a car accident and just never recovered. I also hit rock bottom in 2007 ... I was actually unable to live on my own and had to move in with my dad for about nine months.

But I also got myself back into school, got my HS diagnosed and began treatment, began treatment for my psoriasis, got on medication for my depression that actually works, and made straight A's my first semester in college in more than ten years. On the whole ... not a bad year.

I had an AMAZING Christmas. The absolute best thing that happened is that I found out I am going to be an aunt again. :) Yes, Sherri and Bryan are expecting! Yay! They're calling the baby (whom Bryan insists will be a boy) Willy Billy Bosely (William William Bosely) until such time as they come up with his real name. I just hope he doesn't turn out to be a girl because Willy Billy is a SUCKY name for a girl. Of course, it's better than Megan's suggestion, which I believe was "Boots" (as in the monkey on Dora the Explorer.)

Other things I got for Christmas include a leather jacket (major hotness), a BEAUTIFUL EXQUISITE OHMYGODICAN'TBELIEVE IT emerald and diamond necklace - and we are talking NATURAL emerald here, with the most beautiful color I've ever seen - even in created emeralds - and surrounded by diamonds. I may never take it off. I'm wearing it right now, in fact. My god I love this necklace. I also got several shirts, a beautiful sweater, a huge scrapbooking kit (which I will be saving to make my New York Scrapbook after I go to New York with the Teaching Fellows in March), several books off of my list (including "Miss Nelson is Missing" and "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"), a hair dryer, and a manicure kit. Then today I went shopping for school stuff and got all of my binders and notebook paper and what not and also a dozen or so shirts and some pants that were on sale, two ADORABLE hats and matching gloves, and three pairs of shoes. I love spending other people's (in this case, Daddy's) money.

I just found out that my trip to New York is NOT over Spring break, but is actually two weeks later. DUDE. I get Spring Break this year AND I get to go to New York. 2008 is going to RULE.

I'm already bored out of my mind and can't wait to get back to school. I miss all of my friends - I even miss my dorm room. I have already read all of my books and didn't bring any needlework or anything to do so I'm watching a lot of TV and counting down the days until I can go back. Am I odd or what?

Final Grades:

Intro to Elementary Education - A
Elementary Curriculum - A
Intro to Special Education - A
Geography 1000 - A
Children's Literature - A
Music in the Elementary Classroom - A
Health in the Elementary Classroom - A

Go me! Chancellor's List! :) I have achieved my goal - all A's this semester. I now have a new goal - all A's next semester. Here's hoping I am as successful in the spring.

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

I slept so badly last night, and woke up this morning with SERIOUS back pain. Owie. Yesterday kinda sucked. On the one hand it was great, but then something happened and the rest of the night was pretty bad. I'm hoping today goes better.

So today I taught my first ever actual lesson in a real classroom. It was AMAZING. I volunteered way back in the beginning of the semester to team up with an International student and teach a lesson about her home country. My partner's name is Yoojin Suh, and she's from South Korea. We decided to do a lesson on holiday celebrations because the class I'm assigned to is kindergarten, and there isn't a whole lot of international education going on in the early grades. But holidays and culture is one thing that they ARE taught, so we decided to teach them about the Lunar New Year (or Chinese New Year), which has been adopted by many South Koreans, and in particularly, have them make masks and perform a Lion Dance.

This was so much fun. I swear, I was born to be in the classroom. I was nervous as hell, but once I got into the teaching, it just /worked/. I just seemed to know exactly what to do at all times. I had that class eating out of my hand. :) And, yes, I do have pictures.




That's the whole class. There are other pictures in my scrapbook for anybody who is interested. We had a /great/ time. Tomorrow night, I get to present a powerpoint about how the lesson went, and then model the lesson for about 80 professional educators. It's quite an honor to have been chosen, since only three out of the twelve groups were. Why yes, I'm terrified! It's WAY harder to teach a bunch of teachers than it is to teach a bunch of kindergarteners. But I'm sure it will go well - I've been working hard enough on the presentation. :)

I'm finished with registration for next semester, and it was surprisingly easy! I remember, back in the day, when we used to have to get a form signed by our advisor, and then go stand in a loooooooooooooooooooooong line at one of several 'registration locations' and pray that none of the classes we wanted were closed, because if they were, it was BACK to the advisor to get a second option and then BACK to the line ... lather, rinse, repeat. Nowadays, we just hop online and web-register. It was super easy.

My schedule for next semester (after getting special permission to take 20 hours instead of the maximum 18):

Mondays and Wednesdays - ART 3850 (Teaching Art in the Elementary Classroom) from 1:00 - 3:30.

Tuesdays and Thursdays: 8:00 - 12:30 - Block class - Language Arts in the Elementary School, Elementary Curriculum, and Curriculum Practicum, and then 12:45 - 1:45, Childhood Psychology

Online Classes - EXSS 3545 (Phys. Ed. in the Elementary Classroom) and READ 3204 (Teaching Reading).

Okay, so Tuesdays and Thursdays are gonna be looooooong days, but I'd ten times rather have all of my classes one right after another than all spaced out weird so that I don't have any motivation to go back once I've already gotten home from one class. And hey - no classes on Fridays at all, and only one class M-W that doesn't start until 1. Hello, almost-four-day-weekend!

Though honestly. Why do I have to take Phys. Ed in the Elementary Classroom? I'm not going to teach it. That's what they have PE teachers for. Honestly. I wasn't thrilled about having to take Health in the Elementary Classroom this semester either, but I hate it less than I hate PE. What am I gonna learn - Legal Liabilities of Dodgeball? *shrug* Who knows, but at least it's online and not in person. I can handle Internet PE.

Interestingly enough, theferrett posted about being old this morning, and I was SO going to do the same thing. Of course, he's 38, and I'm "only" 31, but I've been especially feeling my age this weekend. I'm surrounded by much younger people, and sometimes, it really gets to me.

This weekend was pretty much the weekend of suck. I'm not even going to get into what happened, because reliving it will just make me feel worse, but I spent most of the weekend pissed off and emo (interesting combination) and wanting, for the first time since I've been here, to be around people MY age. Not because my friends aren't great (except for this one particular person who is the root cause of my anger) but because I ... well, I guess I want something they can't really give me. Understanding, maybe? To talk to somebody who just 'knows' what it's like to be 31 because they ARE 31, or older, and they've been there?

I also, for the first time since the first weekend of school, felt genuinely /lonely/ this weekend. Again, I think it's 'cause I'm surrounded by people who are younger and because we're in such vastly different places in our lives, there really isn't anybody here that I can truly connect with. I feel like I fit in, but only when I forget that I'm in my 30's. If I act like I'm still 22, everything is fine. But if I want to be 31, with everything that comes with that, there's just nobody around here who can understand that.

It's finally turned colder here and it's getting dark early, which means my SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is in full swing now, and this weekend I just really wanted somebody I could ... well, whine to. But I think with my current group of friends, I feel kind of like the Mom of the group. I listen to, say, Sherri when she needs to whine, and offer what advice I can, or just listen so she can get it out ... but she doesn't seem capable of doing the same for me. Which I get, because, you know... she's young. Young people can be self-centered. That's one of those things that I just accept about her, but it still kind of sucks when /I/ would like some attention. Then again, this could just all be me - I've never been good at sharing my problems with other people. I never want to bring anybody down, which I think is frustrating both for me and for my friends.

I think I ought to make an appointment with the counseling center. Somebody make sure I do that, and don't just /say/ I need to do it and then never do? Bug me if you have to. I did feel so much better this summer when somebody was being /paid/ to listen to me - I didn't have to worry about bringing her down, or anything ... I could just talk and it was her job to listen. There's something very freeing about that.

1. It's a 1000-level class. If you're not getting at LEAST a B, you're a dumbass.

2. Your earrings are beautiful.

3. Can you teach me how to do that?

4. I am so attracted to you ... I can't even concentrate when you're in the room.

5. I'm sorry, I would really like to volunteer, but I just don't have the time.

***

Why is it that I /think/ about saying these things, but I just don't? Okay, number one was kinda mean, but with number two, who would it have hurt, really? A simple compliment. And they really were beautiful earrings. But because I don't know the person, I can't say anything to them? And number three - why is it so hard for me to admit when I don't know something? I don't have to know EVERYTHING.

Number four is pretty obvious, I guess. I wish I had the nerve to say it. Or barring that, the nerve to climb into his lap and kiss him until he submits to my nefarious desires.

And number five ... oh, if only I would have said that instead of, "Sure. I'd be happy to." As if I don't have enough to do. *sigh*

Man, I haven't done one of these in YEARS. Funny story about the last time I did one - it was with one of my professors the first time I was at ECU *lol* He was a sick fucker, but hot. And no, we didn't have sex - 'cause I was in his class. But he did tell me to look him up if I ever WASN'T in his class ... wonder what he's doing this weekend ...

Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is...
	Your Score:	Average For All Users	Average For All Sluttily Opportunistic Human Liberal Single Pink-Skinned 28 to 34-Year old Females (9 total)
Dating	30.77%	34.12%	15.38%	Dated seriously
Self-Lovin'	40.91%	60.95%	36.7%	When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
Shamelessness	59.68%	77.37%	49.82%	It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive	59.52%	75.05%	47.09%	A fool for love, but not always
Straightness	7.41%	39.28%	7.41%	Knows the other body type like a map
Gayness	44.44%	78.21%	25.72%	At least one weekend of ecstasy
Dominant	80%	86.74%	67.41%	Afraid to cross at "Don't Walk" signs
Submissive	73.02%	87.11%	55.91%	Bound and gagged a few times
Fucking Sick	76.53%	89.86%	70.29%	Refreshingly normal
Total Score	56.08%	73.77%	46.07%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)

I can't believe it's been one year since Cyn passed away. I've just been ... out of sorts all day today. Part of me wants to spend time thinking about Cyn and another part of me still gets so upset when I think that she's not here anymore ...

Crossroads was never the same for me after Cyn died. She was more than special ... she was ... just /more/. More of everything. She was more fun, more intelligent, more creative, more sassy ... she encouraged me in everything, never let me think I wasn't good enough or smart enough ... and when she was gone, there was this huge void that I just couldn't get past, every time I logged into the game. So yes, I gave the game up because I wanted to - I /needed/ to - break the addiction, so that I could concentrate on school and getting my life back in order, but I think the part of me that loved the game died with Cyn. I still love and miss all of my friends on there, but even thinking about logging on and knowing she won't be there, and she'll never be there again ... I just can't do it. I'm sorry.

Di, I got your email and I'm trying to find that information, so I'll be writing you back soon. I'm sorry I'm slow in responding; school is kinda kicking my butt right now but at least I have a three day weekend. Tonight though, I think I'm going to go find a Corona somewhere.

And it was WAY better than my recent nightmares about missing whole semesters of class. In this dream, I was in Vegas with my family and for some reason, was wandering around a hotel by myself. Anyway, I run into this older gentleman who is having dinner in this private-type balcony above a stage where nothing much is going on. Below us, in front of the stage, there are lots of other people eating dinner - don't ask me how I got into his private balcony, I have no idea. Anyway, we're chatting, and then all of a sudden the stage lights up and it's the MONKEES. And I /freak out/. And the gentleman is like - you like the Monkees? And I go on and on about how I /love/ the Monkees and I can't believe they're here and oh my god ... and he offers to let me watch from his balcony! So I'm in seventh heaven. He leaves, and I'm on my cell phone calling Sherri, who is the ONLY person on my friends list who will likely appreciate this dream as much as I did :) Anyway I'm telling her to get her hiney down here so that she can watch the Monkees when I realize that /Mike Nesmith/ is with them. OMG. Mike is with them! I start screaming into poor Sherri's ear "MIKE IS HERE MIKE IS HERE MIKE IS PLAYING WITH THEM!"

So Sherri arrives at a run with Bryan and Sean (I dunno if they would even watch the concert these days but back when we were kids they loved the Monkees too) and we are having a ball. When all of a sudden one of the hotel employees comes over and asks me if I'm Jennifer Coleman. And I said I am, and I find out that the older gentleman who was in this private box actually owns the hotel and he left instructions that I was to be taken backstage and meet the Monkees.

Well damn it, I woke up right about then so I never got to actually meet them, but OH MY GOD. BEST dream ever. *beam*

OMG ya'llz. I have got the plague. I know I owe everybody a really really long update, since I haven't posted in FOREVER, and I promise I will get to it if I recover from this thing. If I do not recover (because it's the plague, and people die from that shiznit ALL THE TIME or at least they did in the middle ages) then I want dianamarie to get custody of my Angel puppet. That iz all.

I give up. I quit, I've had it, I'm done.

This is a silly song that my character Lyric wrote about Cyn's character Simon on CDI ... a few years ago.


Simon says it’s time to leave
He’s got something up his sleeve
Our enemies he will deceive
He’s got tricks you won’t believe

He’s the one who always knows
And he’ll conquer all our foes,
Why is that, do you suppose?
Because what Simon says, goes.

Simon says and we obey him
Especially when things are grim
That’s when he’s in fighting trim
So to him I sing this hymn

He’s the one who always knows
And he’ll conquer all our foes,
Why is that, do you suppose?
Because what Simon says, goes.

He’s got his hands in every pot
With skill he unties every knot
Did I mention he’s very hot?
I bet he hears that quite a lot

He’s the one who always knows
And he’ll conquer all our foes,
Why is that, do you suppose?
Because what Simon says, goes.